I’m moving back to college tomorrow morning. I’m getting an apartment with my friend, which means I finally get my own bedroom and private space. This means I can finally watch anime without giving a damn who is walking into the room. The bad news is that I don’t get internet installed until Wednesday, so I’ll be without internet for an uncomfortably long time. I guess this means I’ll be catching up on a lot of anime. So here is my final blog post for like five or so days.

Watching anime purely for Engrish is actually not a wasted endeavor. The folks on Danbooru have even apparently started to translate Engrish as if it were another language (work safe). Producers and directors can spend thousands of manhours creating, drawing, animating, and writing an episode, working with musicians to create a perfectly functional piece of music for an opening or ending theme. And in the following cases, apparently, no one in the studio spoke a lick of English. I guess since they assume the audience are just random Japanese people it doesn’t really matter.

This list isn’t exhaustive, instead these are the first six things that popped into my head. If you think I’m missing something drop a comment.

Spice and Wolf ED: Ringo Hiyori by Rocky Chack

I thought I’d start off this post with an example of an Engrish anime song that’s not that bad. Engrish can be AWESOME in two separate ways: pronunciation and grammar. God forbid both. Despite sounding like something a coked up Lewis Carroll would write, all the lyrics seem grammatically correct. Still, the thought of the singer forcing herself to pronounce the l sounds is quite entertaining.

Bleach OP 4: TONIGHT, TONIGHT, TONIGHT by Beat Crusaders

Back when watching Bleach wasn’t didn’t warrant instant trolling, all the way back at the Bounto arc, the turning point of the franchise, this OP aired. Bleach, regardless of what people feel or think about it, is well known for its solid array of theme songs. The song sounds pretty cool despite making absolutely zero grammatical sense. I am still convinced that one of the lyrics is “tonight constipation”.

Say… what?

Woke up with yawn. It’s dawning, im still alive.
Turned on my radio to start up new day
As goddanmed DJ’s chattered how to survive
Amazing news got over on the air wave

English Translation

I woke up and yawned. It’s dawn and I seem to be alive.
I turned on my radio to start my day.
As the goddamn DJ chattered about how to survive,
I heard amazing news over the airwaves!

Best YouTube Comment

“ur stupid.u don’t like loooooooooooooooooooong animes with a lot of good thinds in it.”

Hajime no Ippo OP 1: Under Star by Shocking Lemons

How awesome is this song? Even the title doesn’t make sense! As the opening theme to one of the most incredibly entertaining, captivating, and gar anime ever, the opening animation is basically an awesome anime version of the Rocky montage except instead of Eye of the Tiger, we get our blood pumping with some dude who wants feeling. iiiitsuuuumooooo. Shit, I wanna eat steak and go beat some people up right now.

Say… what?

I want to dive…lost mind…
I want to dive…lost mind…
I want feeling…I want feeling…itsumo…
I want to dive…lost mind…
I want to dive…lost mind…
why, why, why, why? I want to dive!
feeling over…

English Translation

I want to dive. I lost my mind. I want to feel someone, presumably because I lost my mind. Why? Because I want to dive dammit!
Oh wait, the feeling is over.

Best YouTube Comment

“Ryu said no, i got timid knee
Is Shoe no! He caught me walking there! YEA
A.M NO! You may want me there! Rollling goo!”

ChäoS;HEAd ED: Super Special by Kagami Seira

You guys were totally waiting for this to show up on the list, I know it. Super Special is by far the best thing about the trainwreck of an anime that was Chaos Head. What’s perfectly appropriate after an intensely disturbing cliffhanger moment that involves grisly murders and suspense? A J-pop song that rejects worldly possessions to call the viewer super special, of course! I also like how the animation makes Chaos Head seem as if its some kind of harem romantic schoolgirl love comedy, which would have made the show about ten times better.

Say… what?

Big sign of love and peace
When there’s enough bombs to blow the Earth
All they cares only
Prioritize money they own

English Translation

I flash the peace sign, my fellow hippie love. It’s really absurd that when the nuclear arsenal of the world’s militaries can destroy the world that those greedy capitalist pigs just care about their own money. DOWN WITH THE BOURGEOISIE, LONG LIVE THE PROLETARIAT.

Best YouTube Comment

“Love this anime 10/10”
“The anime was great, and it also had the best soundtrack.”

Clannad Insert Song: Ana by Lia

I mentioned earlier how Engrish can take the form of grammar or pronunciation. Ana is great not only because of how terrible the grammar is, but how perfect the pronunciation is. I made sure to pick a version of the video that was fansubbed. I notice that Eclipse took the effort of karaokeing the insert song because otherwise I might not have noticed it was in English. As if the accent didn’t tip you off, Lia is actaully fluent in English. You can imagine what she felt while recording this song. Didn’t she have the heart to kindly tell Yuu Hagiwara that plugging things into Babelfish is probably not the best way to write lyrics? Stick to Japanese, Key.

Say… what?

The place is so far away be far apart.
People’s hand does not reach, so merely has the worship.
The place is a lofty lord can’t meet nobody put on.
We will lose the place, so lofty which changes.

English Translation

I have no fucking clue.

Best YouTube Comment

The best YouTube Comment is at the end of the video. “Cuting by jamie. subing thanks to eclips subs”. I can confidently say, however, that Jamie’s spelling is better than the grammar in Ana. For them to be equal, it would have to read “cutrig by jeimy. aybing tehanks to eklepes ceubs”

Neon Genesis Evangelion ED: Fly Me to the Moon by Yoko Takahashi

You know how in those American anime magazines about gREATEST ANIMES EVER LOL Neon Genesis Evangelion always finishes first? Well for once it deserves it. The full name of the song is “Fly Me to the Moon (Yoko Takahashi Acid Bossa Version)”. I think the title itself is enough to send Frank Sinatra into a barrel roll in his grave. Fry me to za muun is just extra credit from here on out. I never quite understood why Eva chose to have Fly Me to the Moon as its ending theme in the first place. Then again, I never quite understood many things about that anime, like why people like it or why it was even made. That’s enough trolling Eva for now.

Say… what?

Since Frank Sinatra has a basic understanding of the English language, I’m just gonna conclude this post by being Yuu Hagiwara and using Babelfish to translate the song into Japanese and back into English.

Me do to throw in month me,
some spring reaches
to Jupiter and whether it seems Mars way,
do to permit the fact that you see me
do to permit the fact that you play at interstellar space namely,
namely, the tramcar of my hand in me
who kiss do to grasp
do to fill up my center with song and
with you who sing me permanently
to be long entirely because of I,
do to permit many which are I to worship,
everything which is worshipped namely, namely, truth loves me, be

…
Awesome.

Related posts:

[11] Comments