Aquarion Evol might be the most incredible and mind-blowing show this year. The anime may have been waning in attention as of late, partially forgotten beneath the whirlwind of shows in the promising current season. I, however, would never abandon my beloved. That’s because Aquarion Evol is testament that you can create a marginally entertaining anime with a completely uninspired staff.

Aquarion Evol looks beautiful — the animation quality are top-notch and the character design is the only thing that keeps some people watching this anime. It’s quite obvious that Satelight has given directors Yamamoto Yuusuke and Kawamori Shoji all the money they need to make a really gripping blockbuster. The proceeded to hire a roster of impressive voice actors including Hanazawa Kana, Tanaka Rie, Nakajima Megumi, and Kaji Yuki. They hired back Kanno Yoko to do the music, with Akino to sing the songs. The animation is nice and I love how colorful and polished this anime looks. So unless they gave all the money to the animation department and sent the writers on vacation for a few months, this anime screams laziness on the directors’ part.

There is obviously enough money for this project, but the evidence is astounding that no one actually cares about the quality of this show. Can you guess which episode the above screenshot comes from? No? That’s because they have used that animation cut (during the UNION scene) about a dozen times now, including in both the openings. The plot is something about mecha being powered by teenage hormones and sex drive, which I admit is classier than Evangelion‘s robots being driven by teenage angst. A cascade of NTR, comically useless villains, gloriously cheesy dialogue, and general innuendo follows. Somehow, this is a step up from screenwriter Okada Mari’s previous work on Fractale, but not by much.

Even Kanno Yoko, my favorite anime composer, is totally mailing it in. Don’t get me wrong, I really like “Kimi no Shinwa” and all the songs in Aquarion Evol, but the soundtrack is just rearranged songs from Genesis of Aquarion. I own that soundtrack, dammit! I know “high spirit” when I hear it!

...why did I pick up this anime?

Just to see how much they can get away with, 3 minutes of Genesis of Aquarion are injected into this week’s episode. After self-plagiarizing music, let’s just cut the crap and rip off entire scenes. And don’t make that argument that it’s “appropriate in the context of the plot”, the plot at this point is a directionless excuse for referencing back to the original series, because that was soooooo much better, right? This way, they were able to fill up 22 minutes more quickly and the crew could go home in time to catch the baseball game.

In conclusion, Aquarion Evol is inexcusably entertaining. Every episode defies logic because the moment the anime seems to be going somewhere, Aquarion heals itself with pink hearts. This is undoubtedly the best anime to be made in the last 12,000 years.

Director Yamamoto Yuusuke. Not pictured: piles of money in Satelight HQ.