Tue 4 Dec 2012
In addition to regular editorial content, we at Desu ex Machina also strive to bring our readers them most up-to-date and quality news stories from around the world of anime. Please check back weekly for the latest news in our special segment: Extra! Extra!.
KYOTO — After the eighth episode of Girls und Panzer aired late Monday, anime studios around Japan have collectively announced the end of the anime industry and discontinued operation. “I would like to thank the fans throughout the years for their continued support,” Shinbou Akiyuki said as he addressed a crowd of reporters at SHAFT headquarters. “But after the last episode of Girls und Panzer, we all know that there is nothing more to accomplish in anime.”
At press time, countless staff could be seen walking out of animation studios, and recycling bins were overflowing with storyboards and sketch art.
“I don’t think this is actually news to anyone, but I would like to announce that Kizumonogatari has been postponed indefinitely,” added Shinbou.
Representatives at Tokyo MX and TV Tokyo announced that every single anime studio has pulled out of their previously reserved time slots. The networks plan to air re-runs of TV dramas and infomercials.
“It was the perfect episode,” anime fan Kazumoto Junichi muttered as he tossed his sizable collection of anime figurines and merchandise into the garbage. “Just when you thought that this show couldn’t get any better… damn.”
The episode featured the team of protagonists engaging a Russian tankery school in the snow. Around midway through the episode, to utter disbelief of the television audience, the Russian team burst into a rendition of the traditional Russian war anthem “Katyusha”. Voice actresses Kanemoto Hisako (Squid Girl, Cure Peace) and Uesaka Sumire (Sanae Dekomori) performed the duet. The episode concluded with a dramatic fight scene and ended on a cliffhanger after the Oorai High School team were surrounded by the enemy.
The anime has been repeatedly lauded by critics for its surprising immersion, fun plot, and unexpectedly disciplined pacing. Despite its silly premise, it has remained mostly focused on the action of tank battles, with keen attention to detail and solid animation.
“The staff at [Production] I.G. do not feel it is necessary to continue making anime,” stated director Shiotani Naoyoshi as he officially announced that Psycho-pass has been canceled. “Anime as an art form has accomplished everything it needs to.” The subdued press conference was briefly interrupted when Shiotani’s mobile phone rang. He allowed his ringtone, an audio rip of the anime’s performance of Katyusha, to play for several seconds before answering. Fellow Production I.G. director Nomura Kazuya was visibly relieved after revealing that Robotics;Notes will stop airing immediately. “Now I can follow my father’s direction and become a fisherman,” Kazuya remarked to press.
Staff at Kyoto Animation headquarters could be seen throwing penciled frames of Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! out the window as the Kyoto Metropolitan Sanitation Department struggled to keep up with the massive volume of manga and anime goods being thrown away. “My dream of animation guiding the children of today towards a bright future has come true,” remarked legendary director Miyazaki Hayao as he casually tossed his Academy Award for Spirited Away into a garbage compactor.
As of Monday night, MyAnimeList.net ranks 3,517 anime higher than Girls und Panzer.